Sometimes life is just terribly cruel, the fingers of fate playing a tune no-one saw coming. Just over a week ago sitting in the memorial chapel at my brother-in-laws funeral I have never been more struck by this. At just 48 years old and leaving behind a wife and young children the rank unfairness was never clearer. The irony in that the transplant that was to give him a new beginning should end up rejecting him and lead to the loss of his life.
But in among the grief there were stories of a life, although short, lived to the full, a man who had never been afraid to take an opportunity or to follow a dream. Here was someone who had traveled the world and lived in multiple countries. Who would lead his travelling companions on just one more adventure; no risk assessment applied. His love for his wife and children, a stay-at-home dad who had shown his children the joy of being in the now and encouraging them to be who they wanted to be not what others said they should be. Children for who this loss was immeasurable. In his life, he had definitely followed the maxim “Just do it”.
And that was the message from his best friend at the end of the eulogy, a question and a message to us all, “what will you do?”. We none of know what may happen in life but we can take each day and live it, how we want to. Walking away from the grind of 9-5 was something I had already done and have never been happier, so he would definitely have approved of this. But equally I needed to find something else, something new to honour his memory.
The answer was actually quite simple when I thought about it. It is to step back from much of mainstream social media and the constant anger that is there. Life has many rich varieties, differences are what makes this such an interesting tapestry of experience. Will I agree with everything my friends and acquaintances say, no. But constant anger, failure to listen and snippy comments help no-one; where the commentary becomes one sided and very angry with a view of what is right when often all that is being discussed is a difference of opinion. There is time to be angry where there is bigotry or hurt. However, anger pervades so much of social media but we need to save the anger for when it truly should be applied and so often it isn’t.
Moving forward I plan to interact on social media only with those who as well as having views they feel confident to express, are happy to step back and listen as they understand there can be another opinion, who can agree to disagree as well as share with me views and opinions I had not considered. People who positively challenge and are prepared to be challenged in their views; who knows if we chew-the-cud for long enough we may both end up in a different place to the one we thought. These are the people who will ultimately enrich my life, as I hope I will theirs. Quite simply life is to short for unnecessary anger.
Looking onto the Marshes 